Oh, Mama Cacao. How do I even begin to put it into words?

At the time of writing this blog, I am just shy of three weeks into the integration phase of my 3-week long dieta with Cacao. Three weeks in, three weeks out. Seems like a perfect time to write this!

Just as with all the other dietas (and plant medicine work) I have done, my dieta with this sacred teacher did not cease to amaze me, shock me, test me and expand me. I went into this dieta with two intentions: to continue the work I had been doing on my nervous system and embodiment, as well as to continue healing work on the maternal lineage. In my previous dieta about 2 months prior, Blue Water Lily ("Blue Lotus") was helping me deeply on these two themes and towards the end of the dieta, she told me that Cacao would be the medicine to continue this work. I sat with it... and then sat in an Ayahuasca ceremony, where briefly yet powerfully towards the end of the ceremony, Cacao made herself present ... and it was confirmed that I would open a dieta with her shortly after.

I entered into my fourth dieta portal with deep trust and surrender...

Here are some of the key ways I experienced the medicine of Cacao during my dieta (for which I am so grateful)...

Mama Cacao helped to heal my relationship to Time

About 3 days into the dieta, I was sitting on my couch battling with intense frustration. Cacao is an activator, and she enhanced this sensation of frustration that was already in me in order to push me to the point where I couldn't ignore it. The frustration was this: I have SO much inspiration within me. I don't fall short of ideas... I am BURSTING with them, with threads I want to follow and things I want to manifest. But I was struggling with feeling like I just don't have the time for it all... that the intense floods of inspiration and ideas can get so overwhelming that I can become paralyzed and unable to act on them in a coherent and non-anxious way...

Cacao told me this: "You are out of Time".

What proceeded, was her showing me so clearly how out of sync with the sun (circadian rhythm) I was...

She helped me rise shortly after sunrise without feeling exhausted... and to sleep earlier and much more deeply.

She directed me to a teacher who, through magnificent synchronicity, just so happened to be writing and sharing about Time (and many other things that were in perfect timing with my journey). Through his teachings and the help of Mama Cacao, I began experiencing states of timelessness that I hadn't experienced before... "Que no hay tiempo... solo hay espacio..." ("There is no time... there is only space...") became a mantra I still return to now, even out of the portal. The past and future began to dissolve, and I experienced what it was like to merge with the eternal present.

Cacao didn't just teach me... she showed me, that time does not exist. That it is in fact a perception created by the mind in order to function in this 3D reality. And because it is a creation of the mind, it warps according to our mental state (specifically, I could see how when I am fear, time speeds up and I experience having "not enough time". When I am in calmness and flow, I have endless amounts of it.) And though time can be useful in navigating this realm, Cacao showed me that it is entirely within my hands whether or not I am a vicim of it - trapped within it, in a state of stress and anxiety - or whether I become friends with it and release my enslavement to it through deep trust and flow in the immense spaciousness that is Now.

By aligning me with the cycle of the sun and shattering my perception of the illusion of time, Cacao showed me how I can create so much spaciousness within my life, so that my life may become an eternal canvas and a limitless playground.

These teachings continued and deepened throughout the dieta (and still continue now), but less than a week into the portal, she had completely re-organised my relationship to reality.

*Breathes deep*

Cacao showed me how to live from the flow of my body, instead of the narration of my mind
In my previous dieta a couple of months prior, Blue Water Lily ("Blue Lotus") worked with me on the theme of letting go of control and following the flow. Mama Cacao very much continued this work, but with a different flavour. With BWL, it felt like water - teaching me to surrender into the feminine flow of life, particularly by calming down my nervous system. With Cacao, it felt more grounded. She didn't allow me to question things very much. In fact, she showed me just how much I questioned myself on EVERYTHING. And how part of the "stuckness", frustration and lack of flow in my life was because of that. She made me act... not out of force, but out of creativity and open-hearted trust. She made me more aware of what it feels like to act from my body and intuition, rather than from the dissociated state of following a story in my mind.

The benefits were manyfold... I experienced:

- increased confidence and clarity

- less anxiety (or rather, the energy of anxiety and fear was able to move through me more easily, instead of getting stuck)

- increased presence and focus

- more energy

- more liberation in my expression through movement

- deeper trust in life

Cacao opened me... and opened me, and opened me, and opened me...

I've been told more than once (by those more experienced than I with this kind of work) that the plants do not push you further than you're able to go. Even when you feel like you're at your limits, and they push you a little further... you can handle it. And then you realise you weren't at your limit, after all. Cacao did this with me, a lot. She expanded in me in so many directions I lost count. She worked on so many aspects of my being, that I gave up trying to keep up. I gave up trying to maintain a logical understanding of what was going on (I guess that was the point) and had no choice but to surrender and let her work her magic through me.

The way I kept describing my experience to others, was that she was "opening me". Opening my eyes to see reality differently... and shattering my concept of existence. Opening my mind in order to release old, repetitive stories. Opening blocked channels within my physical and energetic bodies so that energy ran through me like a freight train.

She pushed and pushed at my limits, to the point where I could basically see the doorway in front of me to 'crazy town'. But she never pushed me through. It was as if she was asking me (and showing me): "How much can you expand your concept of who and what you are, without freaking out?" And the answer turned out to be: "Quite a lot, actually."

Mama Cacao showed me just why she has been revered, for millenia, as a medicine of the Gods, and a doorway to heaven.

Deep bow.

Among other things...

Among all of these experiences that I had (and many more) during my dieta portal with Cacao, was the huge levels of physical nourishment I felt she was bringing my body the whole time. In my opinion, her physical medicine alone is reason enough to connect with her deeply. She is filled with nourishing, rich fats, potent antioxidants and high levels of essential minerals like magnesium, iron and potassium. Because of this (in combination with the cleanse brought about by the dieta protocol itself), I experienced big improvements in my overall physical health and vitality that have continued on after the closure of the portal.

Thank you, Mama!

If you are considering connecting with Cacao more deeply - in a dieta portal or otherwise - I highly recommend you do it! She is a spirit with many medicinal capacities hidden up her sleeves. I have closed this diet with no doubt in my mind that she is an ally of the Earth, with wisdom reaching so deeply into the ground and so high into the heavens, that we are wise to regard her as a very, very sacred teacher.

Aho Cacaocito! Te escucho. Te siento. Te amo.

Love,

Emma

P.S. I am not yet ready to hold containers for dietas, but I can help you in the preparation and integration phases of them. I can also direct you to those who hold beautiful 1-1 or group dietas with experience and reverence. Message me using the button below!

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